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 Yes... this pic says it all!
I'm in the midst of finals week right now. Which, this quarter, has turned out to be final papers week (4 to be exact). Oh how I long to run into the warm arms of Christmas break! If I survive this week, I'm guessing my 'run' will resemble more closely a feeble crawl and collapse.
So until then, Xanga brothers and sisters, I'd like to leave you with a few cryptic remarks about how radically my life has changed (and is continuing to change!) since my last update! It's actually quite hilarious. Aww, maybe I won't be cryptic...Maybe I'll come out and say that I'm in love with and seriously dating a former high school classmate (who happens to be handsome, brilliant, hardcore in his faith, and both a challenge and compliment to my personality!), that God has called me back to the Catholic church (!), that I'm leaving Fuller after this quarter to finish grad school elsewhere (love it here, but can't afford it), that I've decided to become a high school religion teacher, and that I'm moving back in with my mom in a week in a half (yes, after having been out of the nest for five years).
And no, I'm not kidding...
Hmm, when I have more time to update, perhaps I will explain all of these changes in a sensitive, more typically "Kelly" fashion that makes me appear a bit less crazy. I leave you with this: these twists and turns are teaching me volumes about what it means to find my security in God! Phew... really!!!!
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|  "Oh my life is changing everyday, in every possible way..." -The Cranberries
Well, it has been nearly 2 weeks since the big move! After a fews days of initial shock, I'm beginning to adjust and feel more settled. The change has been bigger than I anticipated! Pasadena has a flavor all its own, so it feels very new to me even though I grew up 30 minutes away from here.
My grad housing community is very charming and unique! It's an old orange plantation that was built in the 1930s. The original Craftsman-style plantation house sits in the center of our property and has been converted to student apartments. Tiny cottages, once occupied by the orange grove workers, dot the perimeter of the community-- and I live in one of those. My cottage, the biggest on the property, served as "The Grandmother Suite."
This creaky old house couldn't be more different than my palm tree-lined Orange County building! It is tiny (no bigger than an average 2-bedroom apartment!), but has lots of character with its built-in bookcases and original 30s Art Deco doorknobs (a detail I love)! Of course, like any old house it has its share of "issues"-- mostly temperamental plumbing. Surprisingly, it also attracts a fair share of wildlife! Droves of birds have been gathering at the bird feeder on my porch (including a red-mohawked feathered friend I refer to as Woody Woodpecker). There's also Pepe Le Peu, the skunk who may or may not live under my house!
My street is an interesting mix of people. With the Mennonite Community across the street, and our little community of Fuller-ites, the block has a fun, hippie-Christian vibe going on! And, as is characteristic here in Pasadena, it is very ethnically diverse.
I've been able to do some exploring in the area, but this will be an ongoing process as there are so many things to do and places to see... Every time I turn down a new street, I feel like I'm discovering more of Pasadena's secrets! One silly example: Saturday, my sis and I took a wrong turn down a residential street and gasped when we realized we were in front of the house from the movie Father of the Bride! After a giggling cell phone pic and several faux French accent references to "Franc!" we were on our way! 
Another thing I'm very excited about is the possibility of using my car less! Weather-permitting, I should be able to walk to school and work most days. This is great on so many levels! I'll be able to save money on gas, limit my environmental impact, get some exercise, and enjoy more fully the sights and sounds of my neighborhood!!
It simultaneously is thrilling and scary to be experiencing these changes-- in my living environment and (in a month or so) my job & school! I'm beginning to realize that these may not be the only big changes that will come my way in the near future. My journey with God always has been characterized by unexpected, beautiful twists and turns. I don't see that changing anytime soon...
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I'm an emotional person, so on the rare occasion that I go completely numb I know something's wrong...Like this weekend, for example, when all of my excitement about grad school and moving suddenly evaporated.
After much pondering, I realized that despite my genuine delight about this new journey that's unfolding, I am sad to be leaving Orange County.
It's hard to believe that Costa Mesa has been my home for almost 5 years! I moved here on January 12th, 2003-- a date I'll never forget. I came as a VU transfer student and though I grew up only an hour and a half away, I knew I was stepping into a completely new world. I was excited-- and terrified! I remember that I wouldn't sleep in my Catalina dorm room for the first few nights. I crashed at my dad's instead. I needed some sort of transition... like a fish that needed to live in a plastic baggie for a few days before being poured into its new tank. Silly analogy, I know.
This city is where I grew into myself. This city is my home. It's the place that I'm glad to leave when I'm stressed-- and the place I can't wait to return to after a few short days. It's a place I will feel attached to, always.
How strange it is to be sitting in my apartment tonight, surrounded by boxes and rubbermaid bins! They remind me that this season really is coming to an end. It has stretched out over the past year like a long, slow sunset: starting with graduation and friends leaving and now ending with my return to LA. Even Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter--two sources of fun for myself and many college friends-- ended this year (BTW, I am about 500 pages into HP! Bonny, I'm so jealous you finished!  ). Timing is a funny thing sometimes.
"What a grand adventure!"-- Those are the words my spiritual director wrote to me in an email this week. A grand adventure, indeed.
Thank you to all of you who have been a part of this chapter, even for a moment.
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| I'm a sucker for aesthetics and nifty features so I've started a blogspot! Feel free to pay me a visit... I plan to keep my xanga for life updates and entries of a more personal nature. And I may do an occasional simul-blog.
In other news:
moving countdown=16 days from tomorrow! 
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 Dear Alanis,
It has been debated whether or not your lyrics accurately reflect irony, but I don't care. I have a great new line for your now classic song.
Please contact me immediately if you're interested in putting a new spin on an old favorite. And feel free to keep the royalties.
Cheers to Canada,
Kelly M. Lazarus
sigh.
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